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| Alpha's Fanfic Corner | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 28 2009, 01:27 PM (340 Views) | |
| AlphaSpiritBomber2 | Dec 28 2009, 01:27 PM Post #1 |
The Sage of Spirit
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Hey everyone, I have recently stumbled on perhaps the most brilliant thing I've seen in a while. This, The Terrible Crossover Fanfiction Idea Generator. Each day, I'll load up a new challenge, and write an appropriately awful fanfic about what it tells me to write about. Today's idea is...combining Romeo & Juliet and Metroid. The story should use unclogging a toilet as a plot device. Well, I never said this was gonna be pretty. Onto the crappy fanfic! ----- Romeo Montague, the charming, love-struck wooer of fair Juliet Capulet, sneaked out of a party he had been attending to sing his sonnets of love to his eternal, though forbidden love. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Juliet saddened by the rivalry of their families lamented to her muse, fair Romeo. Suddenly, Romeo had turned into a drastically different person in the few moments after Juliet began her immortal line. Previously, aliens had chosen Verona, Italy, the setting of these young lovers' turmoil, as an Earth base to expand their operations. Romeo had been attacked by the aliens suddenly, and was having his brain sucked out by a ravenous creature called a Metroid. "Cykork havarasd adfoijwe badfasdflakj" Romeo said. This gave the order to attack to the hovering alien mothership, and out swarmed a thousand oft these tiny Metroids, each attaching themselves to a different human host. Upon seeing this, Juliet quickly rushed back into the bedroom and threw off her party clothes and donned her Power Suit, transforming herself into her alter ego, Samus Aran, leader of Earth's resistance. She jumped out off the balcony, and proceeded to Ice Beam + Missile combo all of the Metroids present. She had managed to free most of the humans in Verona, when suddenly Romeo, whom she missed, approached her and revealed he had been the alien king all along. He said he led a group called the Space Pirates, and they had come to harvest all of Earth's humans for their Phazon experiments. Juliet would have no such thing. She did battle with the fearsome Romeo, but even Samus' impressive arsenal could not bring down Romeo, now revealed to be Mother Brain herself. Eventually, the Apothecary, a master magician and Samus' sidekick, also appeared and offered to help Samus defeat Romeo Brain. Using a all-natural blend of herbs and spices loaded into her arm cannon, giving Juliet Aran the All-Natural Beam, she was able to defeat the first form of her former lover. Suddenly, he transformed into a giant brain! The duo stared in horror at the ghoul that appeared before them. However, Samus Capulet noticed that Mother Montague's spinal cord directly led into an interstellar porta-potty located at its base. "Apothecary, now! Throw your holy water so we may unclog the drain!" Samus pantomimed. The Apothecary did just that, clearing away much of the interstellar #2 as possible. Samus reached in with her non-All-Natural Beam arm, and reached in. "It's...it's sucking me in!" she mimed to Apothecary. He stood in horror as blue, spore-like matter eeked its way up Samus' arm. She screamed in terror as she transformed into Dark Juliet, but she continued to reach down and down, until she removed the source of the fiendish alien menace: a square of toilet paper. Mother Romeo screamed in agony as he shrinked down and down until he was a normal, slime-covered human. Suddenly all the other Metroids exploded, and Apothecary and Samus screw attack-jumped into the Space Pirate mothership and destroyed it, saving the Earth. Upon landing back in the streets, Romeo asked "What happened?" and Juliet responded "Nothing, Romeo, we were about to have a feast!" and Juliet and Apothecary went "Oh ho ho ho ho ho!" Suddenly, Juliet asked Apothecary, "Say, who the hell are you, anyway?" and Apothecary responded, "Why, my dear Samus, I am Adam" Samus curled up into her morph ball and rolled away and away and was never seen again. |
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| Acolyte_of_the_Hero | Dec 28 2009, 02:01 PM Post #2 |
Friendship
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Haha! That was wonderfully horrid! I look forward to moar. |
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." 
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| CopShadowGuy | Dec 28 2009, 06:32 PM Post #3 |
The Night
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Fantastic. I've seen the fanfic generator, but never saw someone who actually did it! |
| GET AGAINST THE TREE!!! | |
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| AlphaSpiritBomber2 | Dec 29 2009, 08:15 AM Post #4 |
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The Sage of Spirit
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Moar crappy fanfic time! This time it's Metal Gear Solid crossed over with the Samurai Pizza Cats, and possession by Satan is the plot device. ---- Raiden and Solidus stood face to face on top of Federal Hall as the massive Arsenal Gear crashed into the Big Apple, destroying much of Wall Street and foiling the plans of the secretive organization known as The Patriots. Raiden and Solidus, both enemies of The Patriots, did battle with swords to decide which monster was to live on in this world. Raiden's agility was able to dodge Solidus' expertise with his swords, but both combatants were evenly matched. Upon slicing one of the robotic tentacles on Solidus' suit, Solidus knelt down to gather his strength before saying to Raiden "Good work, Jack." Suddenly, Solidus knelt down again, this time in great pain. Abruptly he rose again, this time seeming to be an entirely different person. "Flesmih ssoB giB ssaprus ot ssob eht m'I" he said to Raiden. Raiden, keeping his High Frequency Blade at the ready, had no time to ponder Solidus' words before Solidus shot a powerful jet of flame in Raiden's direction. Raiden easily dodged it, but he wondered where Solidus' new-found strength was coming from. "Ytrebil fo snos eht!" Solidus said as he jumped into the air and floated there for a few seconds before crossing his blades and unleashing a vast wave of fire from his body. Raiden was unable to dodge this attack and was knocked to an inch of his life. "No, this can't be how it ends!" Raiden yelled as he struggled back to his feet. Suddenly, three figures jumped from the top of Arsenal Gear and landed near Raiden. They introduced themselves as Guido Anchovy, Speedy Cerviche and Polly Esther. "Raiden!" Guido said. "There's no time to explain! A brief rift in a dimensional vortex that allowed us to enter this world from Little Tokyo has also allowed Satan to enter this world, transplanting his soul into Solidus. That's the reason he's been able to use the fires of Hell against you in this battle!" Cerviche said "There's no hope for you defeating Solidus by yourself! We must join forces!" Raiden swallowed his pride and allowed the three samurai felines to assist him. " Diuqil morf emag tnereffid elohw a m'I, rehtorb!" Solidus Satan yelled as he drew his blades and did battle with the quartet. Raiden attempted to slice Solidus from above, but Solidus caught the High Frequency Blade with his two swords and infused demonic magic into them, causing the High Frequency Blade to heat up extraordinarily and force Raiden to drop it for a moment. Solidus took the opportunity to knock Raiden away with a slam with his shoulder. Next up was Guido. His power suit allowed him to nullify the effects of fire, so he had an advantage over this super enemy. The two clashed blades over and over before Solidus was able to take advantage of a poor slice by Guido to slice his feet and knock him down. Solidus jumped forward with his swords and dug them into Guido, preventing him from fighting any longer. As Solidus' back was facing her, Polly attempted to leap forward and stab Solidus, but his reflexes allowed him to return the favor, leap over her, and skewered her, instead. With his comrades down and out, Speedy, with his two swords, stepped forward. The two clashed blades over and over, with neither able to gain an advantage over the other. While the two had their blades locked in stalemate, Raiden summoned the last bit of his strength and threw the High Frequency Blade into one of Solidus' swords. It was successful, and Solidus was knocked off balance, allowing Guido the chance to stab forward and knock Solidus to the ground. Speedy leaped forward onto Solidus body, pinning it with his twin swords. "RAIDEN!" he yelled. "Polly, Guido, and myself will combine our power and sacrifice ourselves, destroying Satan and Solidus, too! Stand back!" The other cats joined hands with each other, and yelled out the incantation. "Heavenly might! Hear our call and let our tears become power supreme!" The resulting flash nearly blinded Raiden as the bloodcurdling howls of Satan were heard before they faded into the noise of the traffic below Federal Hall. Raiden looked at the giant scorch mark where Solidus and the cats had been moments before. He only saw a single pepperoni as proof that everything had just happened as Raiden thought. He grabbed the pepperoni and closed his eyes, eventually yelling out "PIZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Edited by AlphaSpiritBomber2, Dec 29 2009, 08:22 AM.
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| CopShadowGuy | Dec 29 2009, 12:18 PM Post #5 |
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The Night
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That was very sad. I used to watch SPC back in the day 
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| AlphaSpiritBomber2 | Dec 30 2009, 04:33 PM Post #6 |
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The Sage of Spirit
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Today's awful fanfic is John McCain crossed with the Fairly Oddparents, using bondage as a plot device. Now this is gonna be freaky. ----- Timmy Turner had come of age. He was about to move on to college, where he couldn't have his Fairy Godparents around. He bid them farewell with one last wish: "I wish for you to work for a real-live presidential campaign to get something nice to put on your resumes." Wanda and Cosmo bid him farewell before they took off with one last shake of their wands. Meanwhile, in John McCain campaign headquarters, it was after hours. Behind a door called "Campaign Strategy", McCain was getting freaky. Donning his S&M outfit, he was asking one of his staffers to tie him up so he could go, as he said, all "Old Man" on him. The staffer was named Cosmo, and his ravishing attendant was Wanda. Cosmo pushed McCain down on the bed and began to tie his hands up on the bed posts. "Oh, yes, my friends, this old man is a dirty man!" John McCain moaned. Wanda, however, realized this could be the tipping point of the 2008 campaign. While McCain squirmed around as Cosmo began stripping for him, Wanda began taking pictures of the debauchery for a "Presidential Erotica" photo album, as she said. "Oh yeah, old man, work the tail bone. Shake your bony money maker!" Wanda said as she furiously snapped picture after picture. As Cosmo got into McCain's bed, he kept shouting "My friends!", each yell louder than the last. Wanda had taken near 5000 pictures before the entire display was finally over. The next day, she confronted McCain with the photos. She threatened to blow his campaign wide open by posting the pictures online. McCain, surprisingly, had no problem with her doing so. "All the ladies know the McCaininator loves the bondage" he said. He began looking at Wanda's pictures and began to break down in tears. "No...no...!" he yelled. "This can't be! COSMO BLINKED IN THIS ONE!" McCain broke down into a babbling wreck on the floor. "That does it, I'm quitting tomorrow. No presidency is worth this picture not turning out right!" Meanwhile, at Obama headquarters, Obama began chuckling with his own staffers. "That McCain! His bondage fantasies were his downfall. Luckily, my dominatrix fantasies have led me to victory!" as Obama picked up his favorite whip and began whipping his other staffers. It was going to be a long night. |
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| CopShadowGuy | Dec 30 2009, 05:06 PM Post #7 |
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The Night
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I am wholeheartedly disturbed... |
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| Acolyte_of_the_Hero | Dec 30 2009, 11:28 PM Post #8 |
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Friendship
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I couldn't finish it. That's just messsssssssssssssed up, man. |
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"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
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| AlphaSpiritBomber2 | Dec 31 2009, 05:14 PM Post #9 |
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The Sage of Spirit
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I apologize. Today's is...Samurai Jack and 4chan, and Halloween is the plot device! ---- Jack had at last infiltrated the lair of his arch enemy, Aku, on a cold Halloween night. "This time" the stoic Jack whispered to himself, "I will return home!" Jack lunged forward and sliced several of Aku's mechanical henchmen before racing to Aku's throne room. "Welcome, samurai!" Aku taunted. "You have done well to make it this far!" Aku declared in his usual booming voice. "AKU!" Jack shouted. "Today it shall all come to an end!" "Ooooooh, I think not, Samurai. For this night, Halloween, I have my most fiendish tricks in store for you! My many costumes and disguises will make this night your last!" Jack showed no reaction to this, but inside he was trembling at the prospect of Aku's power. The forms Aku could take were legion, as Jack knew all too well. He had been deceived in the past many times by Aku's evil, but no more, he resolved. He readied his sword and prepared for whatever Aku could muster. His first transformation was that of a black-haired man with a bald men with him. "AKU! What is the meaning of this?!" "I'm not Aku, I'm Vegeta! And I'm Nappa!" the two men shouted. "No...but, Aku..." Jack said without realizing what he was seeing was illusory. "IS OVER 9000!!!!!" Vegeta shouted at the top of his lungs! Jack's eyes opened with great haste as Nappa said something. "WHAT, 9000?!" Jack knew all too well know. He jumped toward the duo and sliced them, drawing back Aku's illusion. "Ugh! Samurai, how did you know?!" Jack said nothing. "No matter" Aku said. The entire room went dark, and now in the room there were several flopping Mudkips. "But...which one is Aku?!" Jack thought to himself. The Mudkips began speaking. "I prefer Mudkips immensely" one said. "I find Mudkips most exquisite" another said. "Do you liek mudkipz?" a third one said. Finally, Jack knew which one was his target. He again banished Aku's illusion, and the evil demon again shouted that surely Jack could not have figured this out, but that somehow, he did. "I have one more trick, Samurai!" Aku said as he disappeared into the room again. Suddenly, Jack found himself in Aku's most fiendish trap yet, a very poorly-animated cartoon cutscene supposedly based on a popular video game series. "MAH BOI" a strange, boisterous man yelled. "GANON" a freakish man on a flying carpet said. "WE WERE ABOUT TO HAVE A FEAST" a silly blonde girl said. "AKU! Your evil knows no bounds!" Jack yelled. "But no matter! I know how to defeat you!" Jack traveled to a mysterious island filled with giant heads and found this "GANON" and threw a magic wand at him, defeating him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Samurai, how have I been defeated thus?" Aku shouted as he returned the room to normal. "It is simple, Aku" Jack began to explain as he drew his sword again. "All of these illusions are based on 4chan memes. They will not deceive a true warrior, like I strive to be!" Aku lowered his eyebrows and said, "Well met, Samurai. Enough tricks, then! What is a Jack, anyway? Have at you!" Aku shouted as he lunged at Jack. Jack jumped to intercept, and the screen faded to black. Edited by AlphaSpiritBomber2, Dec 31 2009, 05:19 PM.
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| CopShadowGuy | Dec 31 2009, 05:22 PM Post #10 |
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The Night
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Interesting, but you have confused Youtube and Youtube Poop for a few 4chan memes. Makes me happy that you don't know too much about them. 4chan. is. DANGEROUS! |
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| Acolyte_of_the_Hero | Dec 31 2009, 09:29 PM Post #11 |
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Friendship
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Indeed, they were kind of youtube ish, but also kind of 4chan (at least Mudkipz). But yeah, that's a dangerous place you don't want to know about. |
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"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
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| AlphaSpiritBomber2 | Jan 2 2010, 04:35 AM Post #12 |
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The Sage of Spirit
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I'm going to take a small break from fanfictions. |
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| AlphaSpiritBomber2 | Jan 17 2010, 11:55 PM Post #13 |
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The Sage of Spirit
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Tonight it's...Hamlet mixed with Sonic the Hedgehog, and shopping for a Wii is the plot device. ---- On a rampart of Castle Elsinore, Hamlet looked up into the stormy sky to contemplate his fate. His uncle, now-King Claudius had married his mother, his father was dead, and Hamlet was left in a state of existential doubt. What would he do now, he wondered. Just yesterday, his friend Horatio had told him of guards seeing a ghost looking like his late father wandering around the castle late in the night. Hamlet had decided to wait outside so he may gaze upon this specter. Moments later, the mysterious ghost appeared before Hamlet. Hamlet yelled at the ghost to stop and speak to him, and when it turned around, it was in the shape of a hedgehog. Hamlet, puzzled by its appearance, yelled what connection it might have to his late father. The ghost, who introduced himself as "Sonic" told him the harrowing fate of his father. Sonic explained that he and Hamlet's father had been out shopping for a Wii when Claudius' fiendish scheme was orchestrated. Claudius, with his partner in crime Tails, had bought all of Wiis from the local Target, and when Hamlet's father found out, he decided to sell all of them on eBay. When Hamlet's dad saw the prices, he keeled over on the spot. Claudius' scheme was perfect, Hamlet thought. "But wait!" Hamlet told Sonic. "Where do YOU come in?" Sonic looked at Hamlet for a while, and replied that the king was "Too slow" and that "He should have stepped it up" if he wanted to ghost around the place and tell Hamlet what happened. "Okay, okay" Hamlet said. "The Wii prices were too much, so my dad keeled over and died. But why are YOU here?!" Hamlet yelled. "No need for dramatics, man!" Sonic said. "Tails was...my friend! It's my duty to destroy him!" Hamlet knew what he was talking about, and the two resolved to destroy Claudius. But first, Hamlet had to overcome his most gruesome foe...his FATHER! Suddenly, King Hamlet appeared and took off his mask, revealing himself to be Eggman! "That's who I am!" he yelled as he taunted at the duo. "But that means..." Hamlet began. "No" Sonic said. "No." Edited by AlphaSpiritBomber2, Jan 18 2010, 12:25 AM.
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| Kamigy | Jan 18 2010, 03:46 AM Post #14 |
The local depression
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I loled. |
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| CopShadowGuy | Jan 18 2010, 12:09 PM Post #15 |
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The Night
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He is indeed too slow. |
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